I had to go more than a week without my antidepressants because of pharmacy shortages, and in that time, I couldn’t get through an episode of Rita without craving a cigarette (haven’t smoked in years, and the show definitely doesn’t glamorize it), I tried to break up with my long-term partner (who has willingly ridden this psychological roller coaster for years), and I applied for jobs in Seattle and Portland (I’d love to visit, but I’m almost positive my brain would be desperate for sunshine, even if I wasn’t).
The goal of freelancing was to have enough free time to work on the writing I *wanted* to do. I didn’t know an order shortage AND a medication shortage would occur simultaneously, leading to weeks of desperately grabbing things I didn’t want to write, and being depressed in between. I’d been procrastinating again, waiting until the last minute to submit work, thereby letting it consume me for all 24-72 hours.
Now that both shortages have subsided — and now that my desperation has paid off and my quota has been met — I find myself facing a Monday full of promise. I even woke up with an idea for a novel.
It always, always, always helps to get out of my element for a little while. This time, it was an odd way to do it — I returned to my childhood home — but my old room is a guest room now and the rest of the house was renovated, too, so it was the perfect union of refreshing newness and comforting familiarity. It was an incredibly cleansing experience, and today I’m happier than I’ve been in weeks.
It’s an unlikely cause célèbre, and I resisted it for a very long time, not wanting to fall down that rabbit hole of virtual validation. But lately I’ve been fiddling with editing apps on my iPod, and this morning I discovered a Julie Andrews song playing in my brain, with my own favorite things substituted for the lyrics. My brain did it itself; thanks brain. So I made this:
With this caption:
Good books on bookshelves and time-traveling boxes
My windy birthplace and food without faces
An actress who kicks ass and saves refugees…
These are a few of my faaaaavorite things!
So, there you have it. Four reasons to celebrate this particular life on this particular day, and four tools to ward off depression the next time it tries to barge in.