Hi, old blog.
It’s been awhile. I’m a homeowner now, more than a thousand miles from Florida, and I’ll turn 30 this summer in my new home state. The person who wrote all those previous posts would be ecstatic to fast forward to now, but I’m so glad she couldn’t choose that.
The posts didn’t stop for lack of interest. No, there have been hundreds of reasons to blog these past few years — especially this last one — but my voice just hasn’t felt very unique or important. It felt more important to listen, to read, to volunteer, to protest. It felt more important to grow and gain information than to stop this particular version of myself in time, online.
Every year, last year’s work embarrasses me. This blog is no exception — I knew I’d wince as I pored over old posts, no doubt chock-full of privilege and ineffective arguments — but amusingly, some MRAs and white supremacists spent the last year screaming into the void of an abandoned blog, and now I’m glad I was naïve enough to write some of those posts.
The plan was to clean up this blog and start using it for more professional pieces, now that I’ve got independent clients and I’m writing under my own name (instead of exclusively ghostwriting). But plans change.
Most of their comments were stuck in moderation, but a few apparently lingered publicly for months. Dozens of paragraphs of ad hominem attacks, deleted just like that! After googling a racist term that kept appearing in these comments (the whole “insult” was that I’ve probably dated men of color), I made the satisfying decision to stop reading and click “spam”. If stopping to listen taught me anything — if November taught me anything — it’s that racism and sexism cannot be reasoned away, and there will always be people who resent the fact that others have a voice. Even if that voice is only broadcast on a lone little blog that no one reads, some will be so threatened they resort to violence or violent language. And one of them is in charge of us all right now.
Great reason to start posting again.