No, you weren’t “flunked for your faith”. You were flunked for refusing to learn.

BREAKING NEWS: I’ve identified a girl who’s much more deserving of my “pupil in denial” domain name. So… a few years ago, my home county in rural central Florida opened a new college. Rather, they re-branded and renamed their community college, and it’s now a four-year public university. (Speaking of name changes, it’s the same county that wouldn’t let me and my friend start a gay-straight alliance in high school… until we changed the name to “Diversity Club”.) Alas, it seems progress still doesn’t last long in Polk County. They only made it a few years before someone tried to get a. . . keep going

Open letter to Kirsten Dunst

Dear Kirsten, Take this only as a testament to your ability to become your characters, but I always forget how much I like you. You’re in so many of my favorite films, and I feel like we grew up together because of it. I wanted to BE you as Lux in The Virgin Suicides…so much so that I spent my first and only Homecoming dance in the grassy football field behind the gym, and I still have a bag with some dried clippings. The rest of your filmography reads like an inventory of my DVD collection: Eternal Sunshine of the. . . keep going

Has society progressed AT ALL since literature’s “Ten Best Sentences” were written?

You’ve probably already read The American Scholar‘s list of the “Ten Best Sentences“.  It went instantly viral in a way that only lists can these days, following me in the form of NPR spots, e-mails, workplace small talk, and newsfeeds.  (And sadly, you know “viral” isn’t an exaggeration when a literary magazine gets more traffic than its servers can handle.) Of course, there’s almost no real merit in such a subjective ranking.  Even the biggest awards don’t actually determine which book or film is “better”than the rest.  That’s what makes art so enduring: how intimate it feels, how much its power relies. . . keep going